The Beginning Of A New Decade...

So the 00's are done...

Here come the 10's... how do we call them? "The Teens?"... I don't know, to me it's just a weird way to call a decade. "The Tens" sounds better, it's still weird...

Well, anyway, another day, another week, another month, another year, another decade... think about it. It's something pretty intense when you actually give a thought to it.

So far, in the third day of this new decade, everything seems pretty good. I mean, it's snowed every single day of this decade over here, haha. Anyway, I am doing quite well. A sore throat from singin' along to songs at hardcore shows, that now that i calculate, i have been going to these activities for more than a decade. In 1997 was my first show, I know it was that year, because it was the year my sister graduated high school.

That makes it around 13 years, that's quite more for what people spend in hardcore, a lot thought it was just a phase, i was gonna get tired of it, and go be just another anybody. I am not just your average person. I am different, I am not like the rest. I may be pretty similar to all those I spend a lot of time with, but I don't feel I am "normal". Do I care? Actually, I couldn't give 2 fucks. I am actually proud of it. All the things I've come to know, who I am now, all the places I've been. It's all been a gift from being different and people that relate. That's what hardcore is about. Still alive and thriving, 30 years after it's "official" conception. I look back and 1990 is 20 years ago. I still remember writing dates in my notebook that said 1990. It was 1st grade. I've grown quite a while since then.

The 90's took my friend Julio way before his time. The 00's took my dog, the best friend I ever had, and my grandfather. I miss all three, still to this day, although I actually feel bad for saying this, but I miss my dog more than I miss my friend Julio. I mean, I was in 4th grade, I spent not as much time with him as I did with my puppy, or my gramps. I still don't like to show my feelings at all. I still keep a lot to myself, even when my friends tell me a lot. I guess I have to be strong for everyone. I can't show no weakness, or sadness. I leave it all in song, and blood, and ink on my skin. Be it happiness or sadness. Be it the way I choose to live my life. Be it what I want people to see me like.

Still, I have to say. I am happy. All I have, is all I need. Could I have more? Yes, there's always that which I have on my right wrist that I need. Afraid of it, maybe. Maybe it's not my time. Maybe I don't care. Make your own judgment about it. Am I hurt from leaving all my pain, sorrow, happiness, sadness, stress on the dance floor. This is the only thing I know. And if the night of January 2nd of the year 2010 is a sign of what it's coming. I am more than happy.

I may love you. I may hate you. But remember this is who I am, and this is the only thing i know...